I know what you’re thinking. I shouldn’t be focusing on the negative, right? Wrong. Focusing on the positive is a great concept. But you can’t do that until you learn that YOU ARE NOT PERFECT. You have flaws. I have flaws. Quite a few in fact. But guess what. That’s okay. Focusing on the negative and finding ways to accept it or turn it into a positive will change your life! Your whole point of view is altered. Some things in life you just have to accept. Some things you accept and then work on change. The cool thing is, we are all flawed and trying to work on ourselves!!!! I wanted to talk about 10 of my flaws that I have to work on EVERY SINGLE DAY. Some are just stupid. Some are relatable. Some are harder than others. But guess what? I’m happy to share. I’m way too open about myself anyways, so why stop now?!
1. I have a TERRIBLE bladder: That’s right. I said it. I have the world’s smallest bladder and it’s such a struggle. If I have to go, I HAVE to go. And if there’s not a bathroom close by when that happens, you bet your sweet a** I pee my pants. For a long time, I was scared to even drink water!!! Now that’s a problem. I was an incontinent, dehydrated female who was also overly emotional. Now I own it. I drink as much water as I can. How? I just have to plan for it. I go pee anywhere and whenever I can. “Keana, you just peed.” YEAH BUT NOT IN MY PANTS SNITCH!!! How is this a flaw? Who pees their pants over the age of 5? But I’m okay. I learn and move on. I mean, when I have kids I’m screwed. I’ll be wearing diapers as a pregnant lady but I’m over it. I’ll make it work. (Any openings for a hot mom ft diapers? bc I’m so down)
2. I drool when I sleep: I know I’m not alone here. This is a struggle. As much as I love waking up crusted to my muthafreakin pillow, I don’t. It’s not all the time, but it’s consistent enough for it to be annoying as heck. Also, RIP to Chris when he sees me every morning. That is probably a glorious sight to behold. How do I cope? I don’t. I’ve just accepted that’s how it is and I love myself anyways. Drool puddles and all :,)
3. I have a potty mouth: Sorry to all the important people reading this (@mom) but it’s true. Sometimes swear words get the message across better than anything else. Now, I can keep it professional when need be and I even have a swear jar to break my bad habit. How do I cope? I spend the money in the swear jar and start again the next day. It’s the though that counts, right?
4. I eat whatever is in front of me: this is such a problem hahah. I LOVE FOOD. I’m not kidding, if you accidentally leave the chips in front of me at a party, it’ll be gone in minutes. I physically can’t get my hand to stop reaching for the food. I just stare at my hand and beg it to stop but my stomach just says F YOU and keeps fitting food in there. (And I wonder why I’ve gained so much weight.) How do I cope? Portioning!!! Staying anti social!!!! Telling Chris to take it away and then get mad because he touched my food!!!! Like I said, I’m a work in progress.
5. I just found out you are supposed to get your beauty blender wet before using it: I don’t even want to talk about this one.
6. Spicy food gives me the poops but I LOVE SPICY FOOD: This is probably my least favorite and a little too much info but guys. I can’t eat anything remotely spicy without being stuck in the bathroom for days. Which coordinates with me not being able to say no to food. Which means I’m miserable 99% of the time. What do I do to save my butt? I pick a food that one ups the spicy food. If we are having chips and salsa, I make sure to get queso bc it’s way less spicy. If we are having enchiladas, I choose the appropriate sauce. Simple as that.
7. I trip on air: So I do this thing where I act wayyy cooler than I am and 99% of the time I end up tripping on thin air. Like I physically almost fall over nothing. This is just something I deal with. Is it the way I walk? Maybe. But have you tried thinking about the way you walk while you are walking a realize it’s weird? Yeah don’t do that.
8. I care way too much about what others think: This is a big one! My husband is a great, happy, care-free individual which means he doesn’t get embarrassed easily. I am the total opposite. If he makes inappropriate noises in Walmart to be funny, I flee. I can’t have people looking at me like that. Instead, I should be supporting his stupidity right? I worry about the way I look, the way I sound, the way I come off when making a decision, the way I dress… it’s hard. But guess what? It’s my opinion that matters. I’m trying to focus on my priorities and recognize that not everyone even cares about what I’m doing, where I’m doing it or how I’m doing it. (My 14 year old humor giggles every time I say “doing it.” You’re welcome)
9. I am terrible at math: “What’s 9+10? 21”. If you don’t get the reference, you’re too old to be reading my blog. JUST KIDDING. But really, it’s a good vine. This one is hard for me. I manage a restaurant for heavens sake so I have to triple count things just to make sure I’m right. Which is good but frustrating. How do I cope? I haven’t figured out yet. Do I do flash cards? Do I go back to school? What do you think?
10. I always have to fart at the most inconvenient times: I arrive at a family party and my stomach is like, “how about now?” . I’m talking to a table at work and my stomach is like, “Surprise snitch.” I’m looking at a rack of clothes and someone decides to look at the same rack and my stomach is like, “she won’t know what hit her.” Y’all didn’t want to know this but it happens every single day. If I crop dust you, it’s because I love you. ❤
Honestly though, life happens. We are all unique individuals with our own set of cool flaws. Recognize those flaws and but also recognize that those flaws make you who you are today. You have problems, I have problems. Find a solution or just enjoy the journey. I love you and all your messed up qualities. Don’t forget to keep being you. Don’t change yourself for anyone. Just better yourself. Thanks for listening. xoxo