Alright, here is the deal. You are about to get to see a side of life I don’t usually advertise. It’s about to get REAL. So sit back, relax, and keep yo petty judgements to yourself! (jk judge all you want :))
1. I learned that saying “i’m fine” really doesn’t mean we are fine. I see all the twitter memes and laugh but HONESTLY. Saying “i’m fine” just means I’m tired and don’t need any stupid confrontation. Also, I am such a petty human being. I’m trying to grow out of it but I am stubborn and sassy. It just happens, okay? So the “i’m fine” phase happens more than just once a month unfortunately. But I am forever grateful that Chris is so patient and knows just how NOT fine I am when I say that!
2. There are way too many different types of farts. Am I allowed to say farts on the blog? Well if I am not, too late. Just did. There’s the “I literally made no effort to stop that one”, the “I just ate a whole pizza RIP to you my dude”, the “you didn’t hear that one so ima just let it sneak up and sucker punch you in the nostrils”, and my personal favorite, the “do I check my pants after that or no”. Like I said, i’m giving you information no human being should know hahaha.
3. Love is literally unconditional. Sometimes when I wake up and hobble into the bathroom to pee in the morning, I catch a glimpse of myself and think, “HOW DOES HE LOVE ME WHEN I LOOK LIKE THIS EVERY SINGLE MORNING??” All those insta chicks that say they wake up all pretty and glowing. False. I know you all troll like me. (I’m just building my self-confidence here.) But no matter what, Chris still tells me he loves me and that I look beautiful. What can I say? He’s the best.
4. I had to learn to share food. You know that episode of Friends, where Joey yells, “JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD.” This is literally me. Story time: I have an unhealthy obsession with strawberry creme pies from McDonald’s. Late one night, Chris and I went to McDonald’s to feed this obsession. He wanted a water, so we got two waters and I ordered two strawberry creme pies. Chris grabbed the bag and I was like uh what are you doing. HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO ASSUME I GOT HIM A STRAWBERRY CREME PIE. FALSE. I bought myself two!!!!! That was a huge thing in our relationship. He was legitimately concerned hahah. Anyways, now I occasionally share food but most of the time he doesn’t make me. Such a sweet human.
5. Money kind of sucks. When I was in high school, I paid for a lot of things. SO obviously I worked quite a bit. (Shout out to Brick Oven). I was so used to being independent and taking care of myself, the idea of sharing money and helping another human survive was so weird. But it has its perks. Ask Chris how many times a day I say the sentence, “Chris! Buy me things.” He buys me lots of things so i’m well taken care of.
6. Not having to say goodbye at the end of the night is such a great thing. I love being able to fall asleep next to my human. He doesn’t even snore most of the time, so basically it’s bliss. Also cuddling while going to sleep isn’t realistic. Who wants a sweaty human sticking next to you all night? Not me.Can’t do it.
7. Getting fat is way too easy. Unconditional love can kind of screw you over sometimes. Want to hear a secret? I have gained 25 lbs since high school! LIKE HOW. Don’t worry, ya girl has lost some poundage already bc I started working out again. But honestly, Chris loves every thing about myself and I shouldn’t complain but someone has to complain when I start getting fluffy hahah. But yeah, ya girl ki comin’ at ya with a piece of cake in one hand and pie in the other. No shame though.
8. You should always push each other to be your best selves. You have this built in best friend who loves you for everything you are. Which is so comforting, but I am so grateful that Chris pushes me to be better every single day. So what this means is, when I say I WANT MCDONALDS, he says, drink some water. So I get mad, drink a little water, throw a petty fit and ask again later. Aka LOVE.
9. He supports all my endeavors. One day, I said, “I’m going to blog.” He just said sounds great and here I am. My anniversary present was a brand new camera!! (My first vlog will be coming soon!!) He knew I needed content and ditched what he wanted to buy in order to make sure I was taken care of.
10. Marriage is the greatest thing. Christopher is my best friend, my go-to, my confidant, and my role model. He is the strongest, kindest and most caring person I know. We’ve been together for almost three years and married for 1. I look forward to every single year for the rest of eternity with my human.
Thank you for reading! Let me know what you think! Shoot me an email!